Phd. - II

..........Contd. from Phd. - I

In all this heated discussion the main question perhaps was left behind. Yes! You may also be wondering why Shalini chose this topic. Yes, there is a story behind this. Every individual has some stories in life – some said, some unsaid. The unsaid ones remain suppressed deep in our heart and there can be as many reasons for it. For some it is the fear of society and for some it is fear of family reputation, some are suffering from the feeling of guilt and some are leading a dual life. I wonder what type of uproar it will create in the society when all these unsaid stories of life are disclosed. Many a times there is a very ugly story behind the beautiful lives of people.

Nevertheless, Shalini also has a story in her life that made her to choose this topic. She was raped by her brother in law when she was in her teens. She could not disclose this to anybody for the fear of disturbing her sister’s marriage but more than her body, the annihilation of her self respect left behind an ugly scar in her mind forever. The pain was still there somewhere. She could not build faith on anybody after that. She got herself totally immersed in her studies to overcome this pain but it never ceased. Frustrated with her condition she decided to stop running away from her grief and rather make it her strength. And perhaps she also found something attached with the girls who had gone through the same ordeal. When she spoke to them about their anguish, she found her pain to be much less than theirs. She was shared with some most heart-rending stories of the rape victims. It was not easy to search such victims out and further scrape their wounds.

This made her to look at the psychological aspect of human mind where one inflicts unbearable pain to others just to fulfil a desire. She then met the convicts and tried to understand their psychology and their condition that made them to take this drastic step. Now perhaps she was above her pain and looked upon them as sick. But this was not the way when she had decided to do a Phd. on Psychology of Rapists.

Although she was determined to do a Phd. from the beginning but she zeroed upon the topic only after meeting Prof. Sharma. Prof. Sharma was the Head of the Department of Psychology in her college and she had a high regard for him. Prof. Sharma equally liked her.

Prof. Sharma was a renowned name in his field of play. He had a name in the field of psychology. He possessed admiring personality and looked quite young to his age. He was favourite amongst his students especially females and Shalini was no different. She had decided upon Prof. Sharma to be his guide even before choosing her subject of research for Phd. She, immediately after completing her Masters approached Prof. Sharma with the request to be her guide. Prof. Sharma also readily accepted to be her guide. Shalini was an exceptional beauty and which male would not like to be in the vicinity of such a beauty.

Prof. Sharma was instrumental in helping Shalini find out the topic of research and with his influence and approach arranged for her to meet the victims and convicts of Rape. It was not an easy task for a girl. And it was no different for Shalini either but her determination and perhaps the pain and agony of rape that she had suffered made her to resolute her approach. She got the addresses of the victims of the past rape cases from police department but winning the faith of those victims to actually share with her their misery  was the real task. It is said that a woman is almost raped again when she shares her experience of rape. The equally difficult was to meet the convicts of rape. She had the protection of the Police while she interviewed them but who could protect her from their lewd eyes. All her efforts were genuine and very professional and with the very right set of questions she was able to decipher the real psychology, the condition, the background of each incident.

Shalini regularly visited Prof. Sharma at his residence to have his inputs and alternate approaches if she witnessed any hurdle in her research. Prof. Sharma was living a peaceful married life with his beautiful wife and two adolescent children. His wife generally kept away from his field of work and was confined to her household work and children. Shalini and Prof. Sharma used to have their discussions in his study room.

Shalini had invested two years to her work and according to her, her research was complete and it had turned out quite well but the thesis work was still pending and Prof. Sharma was everyday finding out something or the other to change or add. It had become a norm for Shalini to visit Prof. Sharma’s residence everyday in hope that finally Prof. will be satisfied with the final thesis and will approve it. Shalini was getting desperate to get her degree and in turn also got frustrated with Prof. Sharma’s attitude. She sensed out something fishy and finally decided to directly confront the Prof. with the issue.

Next day when as usual she rang the bell of Prof. Sharma’s residence, it was his wife who answered the door and very coldly stepped aside for her to enter. It was a daily ritual. Shalini used to be warm and smile at her during her early visits but his wife's expressions were always cold. Gradually Shalini’s smile also weathered away from her face when they encountered. Earlier she used to give a thought to the relationship between Prof. and his wife but later stopped bothering as she was now more concerned about her work being completed and today she had arrived with a certain determination. It was seen on her face and gait. She, without wasting a second directly went towards Prof. Sharma’s study and knocked on the closed door.

 

She heard Prof. Sharma’s voice, “Come in!”

She turned the door knob and entered the room. Prof. was sitting at his desk studying something. He smiled and said removing his reading glasses, “Come Shalini! I was reading your thesis only. What I was thinking that.....Please close the door.”

He never failed to ask her to close the door. Shalini turned and bolted the door and taking her chair opposite said in a stern voice, “Did you find some more fault in the thesis?”

Prof. Sharma sensed the demanding tone of Shalini and immediately replied in a defensively, “No, no! Not any fault but I was thinking that the presentation could have been done in a much better way.”

“I think it is perfect and I have made enough changes to near perfection.” Shalini’s tone didn’t change and moreover her hands crossed as she stretched back in her chair.

“But I want that when your work is published, it should not be near perfect but perfect. I think you are getting me.” Prof. Sharma was defensive but didn’t back.

“Yes! I am getting it but don’t you think that it is unnecessarily getting stretched?” Now Shalini had to soften her tone as she sensed that everything is in his hands.

“No! Certainly not Miss Shalini. Getting a Phd. is no childs play. People spend year’s working day and night and still it is harder to earn. Their hair turns grey, their back bends, they grow old doing a Phd. and you are getting so impatient Shalini.” Prof. Sharma stood and started fiddling with his bookshelf while speaking.

“But Sir! I have laboured so much and I don’t think anybody these days does so genuine and honest work. You always encouraged me in all the aspects and when it has turned out to be such a beautiful work you are saying so. You only tell me what should I do?” Shalini had totally surrendered.

Prof. Sharma turned without selecting any book and looked at Shalini’s face. She had a worried look but still she looked attractive. Prof. Sharma slowly lowered his arse in his chair continuously looking at Shalini’s face as if deciphering something out of it.

“Shalini! It is not your fault my dear. You are at an age where people want everything at the click of a button, overnight. You are worried. I think you should relax. Let’s be comfortable on the couch. Come!” saying this he stood up, walked around and put his hand on Shalini’s shoulder. She stood up and he followed her to the couch on the other end of the room.

“You don’t get things so easily. Everything comes with a price. Every big thing asks for a bigger sacrifice. For every great achievement you lose something. I think you understand what I am saying and why not, you are a student of psychology.” Prof. Sharma was sitting close to her to console her.

Shalini was silent but not from inside. Some kind of a tussle was going on in her mind. She was looking elsewhere.

Prof. Sharma took her hand in his hand and said, “I know that this degree is your aim and you have given everything to earn it. I am also attached to your work. I feel it is my own work. I know that it is important for you but believe me, it is equally important to me as well. The day you will be called Dr. Shalini Verma, I will be the happiest man. You know you are my favourite student and very dear to me. Are getting my point?” Prof. started stroking her hand.

Shalini was still silent but nodded her head. Now she was looking in her lap. Prof. Sharma put his hand around her shoulder and pulled her towards her and said, “Don’t worry. Soon you will not remain Miss Shalini Verma but will become Dr. Shalini Verma.”

Shalini let herself loose and Prof. Sharma’s hand started playing with her body.

Next day, her thesis was submitted and soon she was awarded her Phd. and now she was called Dr. Shalini Verma.

THE END